Two Old Goats Discovering Ukraine is not in Alaska
Over three years ago, Russia launched its invasion of Ukraine. Russia’s dictator, Vladimir Putin, called his war on Ukrainians a special military operation. I guess he figured that sounded better than war.
Frankly, I don’t trust such a mealy-mouthed dictator. Give me someone like Saruman, who tells his troops flat out: “To War!”
Today, Mr. Putin is meeting with Donald Trump in Anchorage, Alaska. I understand that these two men are planning to discuss how to bring an end to Russia’s war with Ukraine.
Well, it doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out how to do it. It is true that both Trump and Putin still have rocket scientists who work for their governments, but they don’t need to bother the scientists with their “negotiations.”
I already have the solution, and I am no rocket scientist.
All Mr. Putin has to do is issue an order to his soldiers to stop firing their weapons at Ukrainians, to load up their vehicles still in Ukraine, and to return to Russian territory as soon as they can manage it.
I will be happy to wager five chocolate chip cookies with anyone willing to make the bet that, if Mr. Putin did that, the war in Ukraine would end immediately. Mr. Zelenskyy would not send another drone-bomb into Russia, and Ukrainian soldiers would stop firing their weapons at Russians. No one would even need to issue them an order.
In addition, I would bet another five cookies that people all over the world would celebrate joyfully the peace that would automatically break out. Russians would be thrilled to see international sanctions lifted by the European Union. Why, the EU would probably even start buying Russian oil and gas again.
The peace savings in Europe would be extraordinary. No further need to set aside five percent of their GDP to buy arms and build up their militaries. Two percent would do quite nicely.
Do you know what three percent of the EU GDP adds up to?
According to Google (a very reliable AI source), the total GDP of the EU in 2024 was 20 trillion dollars. Count ‘em: $20,000,000,000,000.00. Man, that’s even a lot more in Russian roubles. You have to multiply by 80 to get the number of roubles. Anyway, the calculation to get to three percent of EU GDP is the following:
$20,000,000,000,000,000.00 x 0.03 = $6e11
That’s what my phone’s calculator says. Let’s just say that $6e11 is a really big number. You could do a lot of great things with that kind of money.
Instead, the Europeans are going to have to buy a lot of guns and bombs and missiles and other killing machines. The best thing you can hope for with that kind of stuff is that no one ever gets to use them.
But if instead, the Europeans used that money to buy food, medicine, clothes, housing, education…well, all of that stuff could actually be used, and it would really help a lot of people.
If the Europeans ever have to use their military stuff, it will only mean that a lot of people are going to get hurt. Probably a lot of people would die when they otherwise might have lived very productive and happy lives.
So… all Donald Trump has to do today is persuade Mr. Putin that his Special Military Operation was a mistake and that he should issue an order to his soldiers to stop fighting. I am happy to let Donald use all of the arguments I have outlined above. Any reasonable person would have to agree that the case for the recommended order is compelling.
I can’t imagine why this solution won’t work. Mr. Putin and Mr. Trump have all the authority and reason they need to bring about peace in Ukraine.
I mean, you’d have to be a blockhead or totally corrupt not to do it.