They’re here!
I don’t know about you, but I agree. The government should get rid of them.
Who in their right mind wants to live with waste, fraud, and abuse? Nobody I know. Even my most progressive friends are against them. Even my most reactionary friends are against them. MAGAs are against them. ANTIFAs are against them. Wishy-washy liberals are against them. Flip-floppy conservatives are against them.
Waste, fraud, and abuse don’t have a friend in the world.
It gets me to scratching my head. How come they’re so successful? How come they are carrying on all over the place, especially in the government?
They’re like ghosts. You can’t see them, but you know they are there.
More importantly, have you ever tried to get rid of a ghost? You can shoot one, but the bullet just goes right through without hardly a ripple in the apparition. It’s useless to shoot a ghost.
Drown them? You’ve got to be kidding. You could hold a ghost under the water for a century, and he’d be just as ghastly and ghoulish as ever. A ghost can outlast you ten to one.
Poison? There’s no point in poisoning a ghost. Your feelings about them may be as harsh as those you harbor for rats, but the remedy is not the same. Sure, you can poison the rats in your attic, but not the ghosts.
The latest installment of the executive branch of the US government has created a special department to get after waste, fraud, and abuse. The President calls it DOGE. Its mission is to root them out.
We’re sure that they are there, hiding in each and every other department of the government. DOGE is using computers to find them. That’s clever. I did not know that computers could see them. I wonder how that works. I mean, people have been talking about waste, fraud, and abuse in government as far back as I can remember, and I’ve been alive for seven decades. [I can show you my birth certificate or my driver’s license to prove it.] Why didn’t the people looking for them all this time think about using computers?
I know. I know. So far, it is not entirely clear that DOGE’s computers have found any waste, fraud, or abuse. For example, DOGE reported discovering eight billion dollars in fraud at the Immigration and Customs Enforcement Agency as part of a DEI initiative. But it turned out to be only eight million dollars, and it remains in doubt whether the initiative was fraudulent or just promoting fairness.
Who would want to get rid of fairness? Everybody I know is for that.
Maybe we should sacrifice a little fairness if it helped get rid of the vermin?
But it’s funny how tricky and slippery waste, fraud, and abuse can be. You reach out to get them, and they vanish. Just like a ghost.
I understand that DOGE will keep its computers on to track down waste, fraud, and abuse. If DOGE must send pink slips to half of the federal workforce to uncover their hiding places, DOGE will do it—no matter how many newly created ghosts find life after death.
Well, we’ll see what happens…or die trying.
I read a report about the President a few days ago. He has played golf nine times in his first fifty days in office. Every time he plays golf, it costs the government eighteen million dollars.
Like I said, waste, fraud, and abuse are hard to find and even harder to catch.
I guess you have to know where to look.