The race appears to be neck and neck.

Nearly half of us have polled in favor of one candidate, the Vice-President. Nearly the other half admits to favoring the other guy, the ex-President.

Hard to believe that anyone is really undecided, but I guess a few votes are still up for grabs.

The other side has recently claimed that we were all safer when their guy was the President. They really believe that?

I’ve tried to figure out how I was safer four years ago. I don’t get it. No matter how hard I work at it, I cannot reconstruct that puzzle. The pieces don’t fit together.

I get nauseous thinking about this election. As a matter of fact, I get indigestion when the other guy comes on the television screen, which is every day.

It is true that, when he was President, there was no war in Ukraine or in Gaza and Lebanon. But there was still a war in Afghanistan. American soldiers fought and died in that war. There are no American soldiers fighting and dying in Ukraine or Gaza.

Four years ago we had the pandemic. Now that was dangerous. Over ten million people died worldwide.

To cure a case of Covid, our ex-President recommended shining a light up our butts and injecting bleach into our veins, one ineffective and the other hazardous. I don’t know about you, but I had to question the competence of a man who recommended those remedies…not to mention swallowing the horse pills.

Do you wonder about the character of a human being who never admits to a mistake? As Will Rogers once said, “The man who never made a mistake must have been awful bored never doing anything at all.”

We know our ex-President has done a lot of stuff. He tells us about all the great stuff he has done. Why just a few days ago he told us that he stopped a war with France. Imagine that? We were going to war with France (of all countries), and we never even heard a word about it until now. How did he manage to keep that a secret?

You might also wonder about your security when an angry mob attacks the capitol, and the guy who is supposed to keep us safe does not lift a finger to stop the violence. Who shrugged when his own Vice-President (and ours) was threatened with hanging. Now he claims it was a “day of love.” With love like that, who needs STDs?

When I think of four years ago and that our ex-President might return to run the country, I must tell you that I don’t feel safe at all. I feel like all the people in the world that I care about are in jeopardy of losing the lives they cherish.

Should we abolish the Department of Education and substitute it with the Department of Efficiency? What kind of government is that? That’s one of the great things he is proposing.

Even the ex-President’s highest ranking military officer and his chief of staff both warn that the ex-President is a fascist and unfit for the office he seeks again.

Their messages make me worry.

These warnings and ten thousand other absurd episodes make me wonder what the other half of the country is thinking in casting their votes for a thoroughly disgusting and vile human being. What is the urgent need to put a convicted felon in charge of our nation? It scares the crap out of me. Literally, as I write, I need to go to the toilet.

I’m back.

A couple of billionaire owners of two very important newspapers seem to be afraid as well. They’re so afraid that they have directed the Washington Post and the LA Times to endorse nobody. I have given their decisions some thought too.

Nobody might not be so bad.

Nobody will bring us world peace.

Nobody will bring the nation together again.

Nobody will give us a strong economy.

Nobody will protect religious freedom and civil rights.

Nobody will protect reproductive rights and at the same time make abortion totally illegal.

Nobody will eliminate all nuclear weapons and feed every hungry person on the planet.

Nobody has all the answers.

Nobody never makes a single mistake.

Unfortunately, Nobody is not on the ballot. Also, I am pretty sure that Nobody can’t keep all the promises Nobody has made. In fact, I am sure, if elected, Nobody won’t do anything for anybody.

Consequently, though I am not sure Kamala Harris will make a great President, I am confident she will be a better President than the one we had four years ago and better still than Nobody. As the Editor-in-Chief and the owner of The Flat Earth Chronicle, I am taking the bold step of endorsing Kamala Harris for President of the United States of America.

I feel a little safer already.